If Star Wars Were An Anime…

Today, May 25th, 2007 marks the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought you might like to read If Star Wars Were An Anime.

Some of my favorites from the list:

If Star Wars Were An Anime

• Luke would do a lot more screaming.
• X-wings and Y-wings would transform, and then combine to form a more powerful craft.
• Fans would draw pictures of a naked Luke and Leia embracing *after* their parentage was revealed. In fact, it might not be revealed until after they’d slept together (cue the angst).
• Jabba the Inju would get a lot more, um, friendly with Slave Girl Leia. (FAN SERVICE!)
• The Ewoks would be even cuter. (Eeeeeee…)
• Lando and the Falcon would be destroyed, probably accompanied by a flashback with lots of cherry blossoms.
• Luke would have black hair, and be a lot more negative.
• The Emperor would have tall spiky hair and little bits of things would float upward in slow-mo when he zaps Luke.
• The AT-AT would have claws. BIG ones.
• Leia wouldn’t have a band of surgical tape constraining her generously sized breasts in all three movies except for the Metal Bikini scene.
• For that matter, Leia wouldn’t have been wearing a Metal Bikini, either.
• Three words: Super Deformed Stormtroopers.
• Vader wouldn’t have to squeeze air to kill a guy with the force. He would just touch him and tell him “You are already dead,” followed by gratuitously vile explosions.
• The Millennium Falcon would sport a big skull and crossbones.
• Emperor Palpatine would have a daughter. In an amusing mix-up, Luke would be betrothed to her.
• Bandai would make kick-ass toys.
• R2-D2 would be cuter…and he would fly (edit David: Wait…he already did that!)
• The explosion of the Death Star would be shown with a sequence of watercolor paintings.
• Emperor Palpatine’s legs and lower torso would dissolve into a mass of cables and merge with the new Death Star.
• Luke wouldn’t agonize over Vader being his dad until AFTER he killed him.
• Series titles would be Star Wars, Star Wars Zeta, and Forever Star Wars Double Zeta. People would argue interminably about the time line conflicts.

I don’t know where the list originated, but I read it at Robert’s Anime Corner.

So happy 30th birthday, Star Wars. And to you manga fans, I highly recommend that you check out Manga Star Wars! The adaptation of ‘A New Hope’ is the best (it has the strongest art), but give the others a shot too!