Anime Review: Glass Fleet, Volume One

Do you ever feel like you’re being punished when you watch certain anime? Does it seem as if the anime is saying, “Thou hast sinned; now I divulge your punishment unto you a la Clockwork Orange,”? Or do you ever watch an anime as a means of atonement: “Oh lord, I didn’t mean to blow that red light! I’ll watch three episodes of Trinity Blood to achieve forgiveness.”

I had to really think about my current transgressions in order to figure out why I was being punished as I watched “Glass Fleet”. I’m still working on what I did which was that bad…

plot summary

In a far off galaxy lies a rich kingdom ruled by an oppressive noble class. The self-proclaimed ruler of this opulent territory is the Holy Emperor, Vetti Lunard Sforza de Roselait. Under his rule, the nobles have enjoyed extreme luxury and excess at the expense of the lower class.

However, a revolution is under way led by the young nobleman, Michel Volban de Cabelle, who leads the People’s Army against Vetti’s rule. Michel and his revolutionaries are too weak to pose any real threat to Vetti, yet for some unknown reason, Vetti desires to capture the nobleman alive.

After a fierce space battle with Vetti’s fleet, Michel’s ship is saved from obliteration by a powerful glass space cruiser. Michel wishes to form an alliance with the captain of this mysterious ship, but learns the ship’s captain, Cleo Aiolos Corbeille de Veil, is little better than a Space Pirate. Cleo claims to be descended from the ruling class, which was rumored to have been killed 20 years prior, and is using his ill gotten gains to reclaim his throne.

Cleo and Michel reluctantly join forces to quash Vetti and his tight grip on the galaxy with the help from the amazing glass fleet.

review

Imagine crossing the French Revolution with Flash Gordan. Then imagine adding to the mix the high flung flavor of the 1950’s science fiction serials (John Carter of Mars comes first to mind) and add a dash of quasi-steam punk, the barest touch of yaoi and moe fan service. Can’t imagine it? Then watch Glass Fleet because this anime is the ugly love child of all of the above.

Suspension of belief is paramount to most anime viewing. It’s the added necessity that allows us to believe that what we’re seeing isn’t a dumb concept which would never work in reality. Saying that, I positively could not suspend my belief when watching this anime.

First off, the series takes place in the vacuum of space. Why is there wind, fire, and, well, breathable air, in a vacuum? Why doesn’t anybody need a space suit, of whatever kind, to leave a ship? Why isn’t the ship imploding when struck by a cannonball?

That’s the other thing. Glass Fleet used a mish-mosh of technologies that seemed to be a cross of steampunk and some other random, made-up technology. Steampunk only works when it follows some laws of physics or is convincing in its application. I can believe steam powered planes and cloud cruisers, and even steam laser guns, but no way in hell do I believe that steam and manpower can achieve interstellar travel.

Then there were the horrible caricatures pretending to be characters. The cast of Glass Fleet seemed to be stereotypical caricatures of other well received stereotypes: Cleo was Captain Cool Kid who never ruffles a feather- even in the heat of battle. Michel is the idealistic young nobleman with life lessons to learn- who looks and sounds like a woman. Not to mention the lolita-esque jail bait pilot, the battling maid and a bunch of other forgettable cast members.

Needless to say, there was zero character development and I doubt there’ll be any later, except maybe with whatever back story these stereotypes usually have.

There’s also an undercurrent of yaoi flowing between the three main characters. Yet, this doesn’t even bother me since there’s so much other obligatory fanservice nonsense going on, it won’t get the attention it needs to develop into an annoyance. One scene proved the main characters are being used to appease the ladies: During a heated battle between Vetti and Cleo, the two cross swords with such power, their shirts burn off. I’m not kidding, but I really wish I were.

The story is underdeveloped and not much of a story to begin with: Revolution? Unclaimed throne? Vagabond, good-guy prince? Twisted, hidden quasi-love story? Yawn, next.

Character designs for Glass Fleet were bad, bad, bad. Nothing was good about them and they were painful to watch. The lolitas and maids were misused as a fanservice device and so was the manflesh and hinted at yaoi. The set designs, along with the costumes, was another clash of bad taste; this time with the French Revolution, Prussian uniforms, and lord knows what else. Everything seemed poured on, with little regard as to how it would look together. “Less is more”, was not an axiom the designers took to heart when they slapped the art together.

Gonzo, the studio behind Glass Fleet, needs to slow down and take their time crafting anime. At the pace they’re making anime, the quality is going to suffer the way it does in Glass Fleet. The animation was sub par, stilted and many scenes looked mechanical and robotic. The fight scenes especially looked like there was slacking on the job. One scene in particular looked like someone drew two scenes and looped them together in lieu of drawing the whole thing. Some shots were so bad it seemed as if actual movements weren’t even finished. When a character threw a bottle, for example, instead of gracefully arcing through the air, it shakily ended up in some guy’s hand. The CG was so bad it took the whole anime down ten pegs. Shame on you Gonzo!

All the music was bad, some more than the rest. The score for the series was bigger and grander than the anime actually was and was reminiscent of the original Star Wars trilogy score by John Williams, but not nearly as well conceived. It was a poor choice for Glass Fleet.

The dialog was horrible and utterly predictable. Even in Japanese, the subtitles made me cringe. It was insult to injury to have to work to read the words which caused me pain. The voice acting was passable, but barely so. And why was Michel voiced by a woman? Is it because he’s young and looks like a girl, or is there some other, more disturbing rationale behind the choice?

Glass Fleet was a chore to watch. Nothing about it seemed as if any effort was put into the story, the characters, the designs; nothing. This anime is a lot like stage props; great to look at from far away but shabby and overdone up close. Now I remember my sin against man, I didn’t put money in that parking meter! Thanks Glass Fleet, now I can go verbally abuse kittens for a month without additional penance!

out of a possible gummies.