Cosplay as an Aphrodisiac?

Maybe that’s the secret to the existence of cosplayers…the need to get laid!

Think about it from a natural perspective…birds and animals have courtship rituals when it’s time to mate. Usually they undergo physical changes or change their appearance in some way so they can attract a mate. Often times, said animals congregate in certain places ideal for finding a mate (that would be what we anime fans refer to as cons).

Turkeys strut, peacocks display, and other animal courtship rituals have their various names, and while I’m no animal behaviorist, I still think I’ll go ahead and call the act of cosplaying “presenting”. Fans “present” when they go to cons, whether they mean to or not. Some fans actually like to dress up and are indifferent to this intoxicating effect on gals and guys alike. Others have tapped into this secret anime mating ritual and purposely flaunt themselves in the desire to find the “one” (at least for the night).

I also believe that there must be a pheromone exuded by cosplayers during cons that turn otherwise tame women into raging and stupid squealing fangirls, capable of impossibly rough glompings.

Is cosplaying nothing more than anime Viagra? I think there is the occasional genuine cosplay aficionado, but for the most part, anime fans have discovered how to get nookie without working out, getting a degree, having a high paying job, or drugging someone. This also explains why so many cosplayers are willing to spend beacoup bucks on making their costume just right.

Having a tight (detailed and otherwise) costume makes all the difference, doesn’t it ladies and gentlemen? It’s the like the peacock with the droopy and dull feathers; he’s not getting any. But having those tight, authentic leather pants rather than that cheap, squeaky vinyl makes you a cosplaya instead of a cosplayer.

The thing that totally throws me off, though, is cross-players. Why must you exist and confuse me and everyone else so? Why must the hot Vincent be a woman? Who are you fooling Sailor Bubba? Gaaa!! There are, however aberrations in nature, so cross-players – although your presence confounds me – you are not without your charms.

Thanks to natural selection, Jo Ann Fabrics and the local hardware store, anime fans have cosplay as a means to attract potential mates. Perhaps this is anime’s way of keeping the species – animea fanboyius – alive!